Monday, November 24, 2014

Indeed

Howdy

Today's post is dedicated to my friend who has just discovered the word 'Indeed.' He has deemed it quite British and uses it in conversation whenever he can. You can't know everything and you can't get hung up on the things that you don't know. The best thing about new information is that you can use it and make it yours. Indeed! 


I am hoping he adopts indubitably next.


Qatar Airways
I have my passport back now.  I have bought a ticket. I leave Tuesday morning at 8am.  I have a layover in Chicago and I should land in Columbus around 7pm the same day. Then who knows. I am 99% packed. I've submitted my resume a few places at home. I will try to finish Eleanor and Park today and move on to The Notorious Benedict Arnold: A True Story of Adventure, Heroism & Treachery. I'm signed up for a mock Newbery at Wright State University. I really want to maintain my professional momentum.

Last night I had a really great dinner with friends. We stuffed ourselves at Turkey Central one last time. Now I am just feeling wistful and contemplative. For the first time since I moved here it rained. 

I consider this whole experience not unlike the challenge of college.  This might explain why random snippets of poetry are wandering through my mind.  It may be cliche to quote T.S. Eliot, his work is often cited and often misquoted.  For me the morose work The Hollow Men is both overwrought with angst and strangely passive.


This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.

I enjoy both the intensity and the accuracy of this poem.  It's overly dramatic to say that my has life broken apart.  The reality of the feeling is the same, though its not entirely accurate.  Nearly every aspect of my daily life is about change. I had made silly plans to stay in a very fancy hotel the night before I finally left Doha.  This was of course decided when I had a job and a paycheck.  Now facing the prospect of unemployment, my tight wad personality Frugal MacDougal, would prefer I save what I have earned.  Is it all really so bad?  I am going home.  I am going to see my loved ones.  I still have my car and my computer.  Again Eliot's meaning resonates with me.

‘We sometimes feel, in following the words and behavior of some of the characters of Dostoevsky, that they are living at once on the plane we know and on some other place of reality from which we are shut out.’ - John Marston.’ Selected Essays T. S. Eliot (1934)
I have begun to undo what I did to move to Qatar.  I currently do not feel connected to either place.  When I leave tomorrow I wonder if it will like none of this ever happened, as if the undoing is also an unmaking of the past three months? 

This might be why I can sit all day and sleep just fine. My mind is tired. 

Laura


6 comments:

  1. Do not underestimate the power of the experience as a whole. You literally picked up and moved to a foreign country and made that work for you. You met many interesting and amazing people from all over the world. Very few people in this world have done anything at all like this. You are special and don't you forget it.

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  2. We aren't allowed out of our yard,and the gate is always closed.However, you escaped and went all the way to the Land of Sand on a great adventure. For those of us left behind, you did yourself a big favor by letting yourself do something different and exciting, and letting us in on what you did and the things you experienced gave us a small window of the world to look into.Once you get settled back in OHIO and defrost, you will be working on your next blog. We await with goatly anticipation. Have safe trip...Cape and Matter Horn

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  3. "For the first time since I moved here it rained." Sounds like Qatar is wistful and contemplative, too!! I've enjoyed your journey :)

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    1. There were no sand storms while I was in Qatar but I saw pictures of a storm that happened a few days after I left. I bet that was scary but really cool to see.

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  4. Just a few minutes before you take your flight and come back home, we just want to wish all the best in both professional and personal life, and INDEED you'll get it all!!
    We'll miss you.
    Best regards.

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  5. Ha I just experienced that weird comment thing where it makes you sign in twice.

    Still here. They are taking forever to board. And in the mean time you cannot have water or use the washroom. It's quite cruel.

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